My youngest grandsons are 13 and 17 years old. They have been a major part of my life since their first breaths, and regular overnighters since I moved to my current home 11+ years ago. They just pulled a weekender and now the house is silent. Not for the first time, it’s hitting home that it won’t be long before these visits will end. The feeling one gets when someone you dearly love goes away, leaving you behind, has assaulted my heart. I know they won’t be completely out of my life, but right now I’m simply allowing myself to experience another wave of grieving. Maybe if I do it in bits it won’t be as overwhelming when the deal’s done.
There are poignant reminders of their childhoods all through my house. Little blue Nerf gun bullets, unfound and forgotten until stumbled upon. A bookcase dedicated to children’s stories, hot-wheel cars, stuffed animals, scribbled-on notepads and no-longer-played-with games. Their sleeping bags are rolled up, stored in the garage. A toy chest with various amusements is abandoned in the TV/office/spare bedroom. It wasn’t very long ago the boys dragged everything out, their playthings happily strewn everywhere. I didn’t mind; I relished the boys’ presence.
Now when they visit, they bring their devises –Nintendo switches, iPads, wireless controllers and, of course, their iPhones and laptops. They listen to their choices of music using my HomePod. We still play games together such as Phase 10, Uno, and Bananagrams, and often watch a movie on TV and eat popcorn together Friday night. I’m invited to see progress in castle building on Minecraft, as well as fantastic digital art created for school functions or simply for pleasure. The youngest is into drawing cars I’ve never heard of: Aston Martin Vantage, Acura Integra Type R, BMW M4 Coupe, Bugatti Chiron Super Sport, Ferrari F40, to name a few. The oldest decorated my house for Halloween, then for Thanksgiving, and he’ll come back to put up Christmas decorations. Not only do I enjoy the adornments, it’s like he also leaves a bit of himself here with them.
Silly grandmother I am. My life is full; I am content, healthy, and never bored. I am thankful for all the successes my family members achieve. The arc of time is manifest in our lives, yet we have managed to remain close knit. Even though separate, we are inseparable. My sunset years have been endowed with precious, matchless memories. I am one of the lucky ones, and my little bouts of grief are in truth crowning tiaras of remembrances.
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