"...serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."
For a long time, my name has been Grams. When I sign the “G” in Grams I make a little spiral, telling my grandkids that it’s the symbol for gratitude.
Spirals are everywhere in the world and have been called the basis of life. We find spirals in sunflowers, seashells, in the path of draining water, in our DNA’s double helix. Our thumbprint makes a spiral; the Milky Way has two massive spiral arms. In my thinking, spirals are synonymous with abundance. For this amazing abundance in life, I am grateful.
I choose to live awake to abundance, even when a shadow crosses my path. If I have learned anything in life, I have learned that today’s snapshot of reality is just that: a single moment caught on the camera roll of endless possibilities.
I may not know where I'll be living five years from now, but today I'm happily surrounded by cherished belongings, with flowers blooming in my garden and family close by. My car is paid for; I have no credit card debt. My friendships are intact; my career is ending on a positive note. I am healthy, in love with life and excited about the opportunities available to me once I’m retired. I will not be bored; I’ll be involved.
Another thing I have learned in life is not to shut down emotions. So, when I experience a knot of anxiety in my stomach, I embrace it gently until it settles a bit, until my fuller self reemerges. I give myself permission to be authentic, to be human in this unsettling world. It’s natural that I was impacted when the rug was pulled out from under me, when I was first told I qualified for a senior apartment complex, only to be notified a day later that, in fact, I did not. Especially when senior housing availability in my area is nearly non-existent.
What I did not allow was for my anxiety to morph into panic, though I admit I felt its clawing edges. Instead, I chose to breathe, to employ my gratitude muscle memory, as it were. I relaxed, letting my eyes focus on the abundance in which I am living today, my ears to harken to birdsong and the peaceful sounds of neighborhood life. My thoughts calmed, became directional, analytical. I reinhabited joy.
Home again in my spiral “G” I know that one thing in life we can count on is change; everything is in flux. Therefore, abundance has no borders.
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